Friday, July 13, 2012

Nation's Sound Engineers Gather To Talk About Their Ponytails

AUSTIN, TX—Sound engineers from around the country converged on the Hilton Garden Inn Saturday for their annual convention in which they discuss their ponytails. "It's always fun to catch up with other sound guys, just so we can swap stories about changing out bad cables, smoke cigarettes together, and see how our ponytails are," said Joe Spencer, a sound engineer from Kansas City, MO whose 11-inch ponytail was poking out the hole of his Zildjian ball cap and obscuring the tour dates on his Megadeth T-shirt. "But despite our cool jobs, it's pretty much like any other convention. We talk about new Mag-Lite innovations, see presentations on ponytail-friendly headphones, and swap tips, like how, in a pinch, you can use a mic clip as a clasp to secure your ponytail." At the close of the weekend-long event, attendees will reportedly observe a moment of silence in honor of the late Ted "Smash" Bailey, a sound engineer who had an impressive 24-incher and told Peter Gabriel to fuck off in 1983.

Backstreet Boys & NKOTB Stagehand SUES Over Dangerous Man Hole

You're not the only one who thought last year's Backstreet Boys/New Kids on the Block tour was painful -- a stagehand claims he was nearly killed before a concert ... after falling through a hole ... and now, he's suing the bands.

William Wesley Styron filed the lawsuit in Tennessee, claiming he was hired to set up for the boy bands' show at Fedex Forum in Memphis on June 20th, 2011.

According to the lawsuit, Styron was going about his duties when he accidentally stepped into a hole in the stage ... and plummeted 13 feet to the ground ... fracturing his skull and causing "traumatic brain injury."

Styron claims he suffered a "loss of consciousness, seizures, and convulsions" during the accident before someone called 911 -- and he was rushed to the hospital.

According to the suit, it all could have been avoided -- but there was nothing in place to warn Styron about the stage's hazardous conditions ... no signs ... no cones ... nothing.

Styron says the accident cost him tons in medical bills -- and now he wants at least $5 MILLION.

NKOTBSB has already denied the allegations -- claiming the accident was Styron's fault for not looking where he was going.